DAY 9

i lost 100g in one week. i did eat a max of 750cals each day + i worked out for 1,5hours every 2nd day. PLUS because of eating so less i start having my period. my body has always done this to me, even though its sort of REALLY SENSELESS because i'm taking the pill. that actually controls when you have your period and you only get it when you STOP taking the hormons. i actually should have gotten it on wednesday next week. so yeah. fuck me.

DAY 7

hi girlies

after that disappointing result on the scales yesterday, i have been doing good.
well not so good. i was frustrated so i had 2 eggs for breakfast... but then i basically didnt eat anything else during they day! i had 2 cups of hot choc, which is something like 180 cals... but they're liquid so it aint that bad to me!
today i've been at the gym and had about 120cals for breakfast.
since my flatmate is moving out, i'm having something like a casting for a new one. so today there will be 9 people here (and tomorrow and on friday).
i didnt have time to eat since i got home from gym.. because i dont wanna eat or cook while i got people here.. so thats great :D
its really fun to show all these different people the flat and talk to them.. and imagine scenarios that could happen if they move in. so far i only had girls here, two pretty ones. one was really smal and tiny.(-> envy) but there are boys coming this evening.. i think in general its easier to live with boys, cause they dont take everything personal and are not as bitchy as girls can be. but i'd also like the new flatmate to become a real friend with whom i can go shopping and stuff, you know? soo lets see what the evening brings!
i hope you girls are doing great!



Cals consumed so far ( 4pm):
max 150
(later i might have some broccoli. low cal anyways. hope my scales will notice that i am not really eating much!!!)

DAY 6 (+summary)

hi skinnies,
i appologize for my absence... i was busy all the time and somehoe i didnt feel like blogging.
so the last days i always had something around 400cals during the day, and then, each evening i thought: hey, 400cals is so less! you can totally still eat something.
yeah... stupid me. so i always ended up wit about 700-800cals.
i've been at the gym monday and yesterday i've been playing squash with my bf. squash is fun and i bet it burns a lot...
so i was still hopeful when i stepped on my scales today.
but guess what? i lost 100g since saturday. like 100g in 3 days of eating a max. of 800cals + working out. IS THAT FAIR?! :(

i've always been losing weight more difficult than others... i think thats because of the pill and the hormons and stuff. still, i mean seriously. there are people out there who stuff themselves with 2000cals a day and they dont gain a gramm. this is simply not fair.
i'm really sick of my body hating me so much. i'm trying to make up excuses. like that i propably gained my muscles back and as we all know, muscles are heavier than fat. but you know. thats a really lame excuse.
i'm going to paris for the weekend, and i thought that i could be at least 1 kg lighter until then. i mean 1 kilo in a week.. thats so doable. not for me obviously.. :(


i hope you're all doing better than me, skinny loves.

GYM!

just a little motivation for my beloved followers <3

DAY 3

i've been at the city with my "visitors" all day and on my way home i met an old friend. she was like : heeyy.. we gotta have coffe together! come on i'll invite you. and i wanted to say no but i also really wanted to talk to her again since i havtn seen her for a while... but then she came back with 2 milkshakes. that was like 45mins ago, and i'm currently trying to flush them cals out by drinking 1l of water. besides that thing the day had been okay... okay considering that i had to have lunch with my family at a restaurant that didnt have tomato soup. or anything alike. (no wonder people become fatter and fatter!)
i'm a clver girl (yay :D) so i decided to skip breakfast this morning.. somehow i felt that the day wouldnt go so well foodwise. at the restaurant i ordered a salad, and it was a rather small one with light dressing, which made me really happy! but then my grandma insisted on me having an apple strudel and ordered one for me. OUCH! i didnt eat it all, but still. then that shake. and now after 1l water in 5mins i dont really feel like eating anything anymore tonight.
summary:
WIAT:
breakfast:
-none-
lunch:
-salad (max 150cals)
-apple strudel (max 300 cals)
dinner:
-milkshake ( say 200 cals)

TOTAL:
650cals
(maybe later + 20 cals by half a pepper)

actually i should be at the gym working my ass off right now, but i just got home, its getting late and i'd propably throw up on the treadmill... which wouldnt be so cool. i think i burned a few cals by walking through the city all day also. BUT i'm gonna work out extra hard tomorrow morning, to make up for today and especially the milkshake. so unneccessary!!! argh!

i hope you're doing better loves.



ps: i couldnt fall asleep last night cause i was so hungry. i know it sounds stupid but i loved it. it makes me feel... proud.
pps: i weighed myself this morning. it hasnt been as bad as expected, but i was nearly completely empty. i might let you beuatiful skinnies know how much i weigh when i reach my first GW... or maybe next time. if it matters to you.
ppps: i just found this pic. i think it is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. i have seen some before-afters before, and i always think they're awesome thinspo... but this one simply amazes me. propably because i can relate to it and see how she made it in nearly 2 month! MOTIVATION!

DAY 2

u know whats really impressing? how fast you lose your muscles when you dont work out. as i told you, i have been at the gym yesterday and i knew that i lost muscles, cause i have been doing nothing for like a month. so i decided to do just a little less than usual, cause i dont wanted to lose my motivation so quickly. STILL- today i feel my leg muscles hurt... one month ago i did never feel anything like this awhen i worked out much harder. but thats life, and i know that after 1 or 2 weeks of work, i can get there again. motivaaaatioooon.
i have been food-shopping with a friend today, and in the store we were they had some special asian food offer. i bought prawns ( = low cal, high protein.*) and 3 different types of dips. i'm gonna use them for dipping my veggies, in front of the tv or so... healthy and low cal - instead of crisps.

i've been at the city with my bf today and we had icecream together. i know, icecream?! wtf?! but: it doesnt contain many carbs and its still less cal than other sweet things.

tomorrow my dad, his gf and my grandma are coming to visit me here. we're gonna have lunch at a restaurant together. i'm a little scared. it will be hard to find something that doesnt contain carbs. and not eating the potatoes or whatever they'll serve with the good proteins, will worry my grandma. she keeps telling me how pretty and slim i am and that she worries that i dont eat enough. i think i'm gonna go for a salad ans something like tomato-soup. every restaurant should have that!

WIAT:
breakfast:
- 1/2 apple + low-cal yoghurt: 110cals
lunch:
- 1 serving of salmon with half a pepper and fe pieces of zucchini : 170cals
- 1 slice of cheese : 80cals
dinner:
-icecream (dont really know, but propably about) 150cals

TOTAL: 490cals

i might have a few carrot and pepper sticks with some dipping in a few.. but i'm not really hungry yet. still that would be a maximum of 70 cals, and a total of 560 is fine too.

stay strong girls- we're going to be the prettiest of all.



TIP OF THE DAY:
if i crave for something sweet i drink an indian chai tea. it has max 3 cals (which is so less i dont mention it here) and it tastes great. AND it fills you up with water.
plus * = 100g of prawns contain 70cals. i have them in a ring and i seriously doubt that i could even eat 100g without feeling completely full.

ps: i got scales today. planning to weigh myself on sunday/monday morning. excited!!!

DAY 1

Good Evening my Loves-

Today is Day 1 of my new plan, i'm at my flat and i can eat whatever i want with noone cooking million-calorie things.
i went food-shopping yesterday, and here's what i bought : (maybe it thinspires you)
-tomatoes
-cellerie
-kohlrabi
-cuccumber
-zucchini
-peppers
-apples
-watermelon

-curd
-low fat yoghurt (60kcals each!)
-low fat milk
-low fat cheese

thats it. did anyone notice something? cause these ingredients ARE my new plan.
i'm only gonna eat vegetables and fruits ( but not too many fruits, cause they contain more sugars than veggies do) and proteins.
completely cutting out the carbs. this should help to lose weight pretty fast. + i'm gonna go to the gym every 2nd day and work out for 1,5hours.

about the food- i know that it is sort of impossible to completely cut out the carbs forever, and i'm not planning that. i'm trying to stick to the plan until next week.
if everything goes fine i should have lost at least 2kg until then.

WIAT:
breakfast:
1/2 apple + 1 low fat yoghurt = 110cals
lunch at 3pm:
2 eggs with 1 tomato = max 200kcals
dinner :
watermelon+ 1/2 apple = 160 cals

TOTAL: 470cals

not too bad!! i'm going to see a few friends from here in an hour. so maybe we're gonna have coffee or something, i dont know yet. so maybe there will be another 100-200cals max. but they will be liquid and i think thats not so much of a bad thing.



PS:
Thank you for your support. it is sooo motivating to read your lovely comments. it makes me believe in me - in us. we can so do this!! skinny love to all of you girls!

I'M BACK!

i know i havent been posting for month and i wanna thank all of you who kept following me here.
i missed this place. but i i'm back now and i really wanna do this. and i've got a plan.
but let me tell you strong girls what has been happening in the meantime.

i have been working out ever 2nd or 3rd day at the gym, and i ate healthy. mostly. i have lost another 2-3kg and i told myself that this would be the better way. and that i could be comfortable with my body. and that maybe, i am supposed to be like this, and that i'll never be a skinny girl...that i should start accepting myself the way i am.

LIES! LIES! LIES!

i'm at my "homehome" (my mums house) since the beginning of august which means i didnt work out for a month. ( i went jogging twice but that cant count!)
but not only that i'm not doing any sports at all and lose all my muscles who burned cals for me.... here, mummy is cooking.
i eat way to much. and i am aware of that but i cant stop myself. i dont know why this is, but if i start eating something delicious i just cant stop myself from throwing it into myself. i know- disgusting.
so meanwhile i guess i have put on at least 2,5 kilos. and i am not happy with myself.
so from tommorow, this is gonna stop!
i'm going back to my flat on wednesday, and from then on my new plan is gonna start. (i'll tell u about it in my next post!)



because i wanna be pretty. pretty thin.

i just dont know

i am eating quite a lot again. a lot compared to you adoreable skinnies. still less than normal persons. and honestly i dont know how to feel about it. 1200cals is told to be best amount of cals to eat when you wanna lose weight, just read that in a mag. i dunno if it works for me. i dunno if i like myself lately.
i just dont know anything. i'll propably take some time to find that out.
i'm sorry my loves.

PRUNES :)

I was inspired by WannabSkinny and bought some dried prunes on monday. I was suprised because they taste quite good.... but why i actually bought them is because i read that they were good for ones digestion.
I really cannot be sure if it is the prunes YET (because i ate so much what is propably left inside of me and wants to get out) buuuut i feel like my digestion is really getting better/faster.
So my tipp of the day: 1 prune a day keeps your digestion-probs away!

:)

hello skinny ladies!

it is 4pm here now and i have consumed a max of 550cals yet. 130 of them were dark choclate. i allow myself to have some, cause i'm still havin my period.. some sweets seem to be necessary during that time..
the interview last night went pretty well... i also got the chance to talk to a few hot guys.. :)
i'm going out with my friends tonight but i'm planning to stay sober and go to bed not all too late. tomorrow i have to be at the uni from 10am-5pm non-stop. got a seminar about television-journalism (sounds stupid but i guess you get what i mean).
i'm planning to take a smoothie and some curd (did i mention i am frickin in looove with curd?! i have it all the time with fresh fruits..yummiiii) with rasperries or so. i dont wanna eat with the others there.. fruit-curd is the perfect alternative.

gotta work now, and then i'll propably have another 150cals. or less. 700cals is the goal!

i got some happygirls at the beach thinspo for you :)









are you girls going somewhere in summer? i mean to some beach or so? or are you so happy to have a beach right in front of your house??
in both cases- we do wanna look good in our bikinis. and we will do whatever it takes for it!

I FORGOT HOW GREAT IT FEELS TO BE EMPTY

or at least nearly empty.
how great ist feels when you can calculate it over and over and you still end up thinking: i'm doing good.

i told you girls i was eating a lot these last days. its 5pm here now and i had 350cals yet. and it feels so good.
i forgot how good it feels, i forgot that it feels way better than the taste of chocolate in your mouth. and it lasts soooo much longer.

i just came back from the gym (my back feels better, yay!) and now i'm having some curd with jam. yummi.

i am really motivated... but unfortunately in a hurry! soo much to do today! and tonight i got an interviwer for my next report.. exciting!

sorry for the boring post, might update later!

BIPOLAR

here i go again. i dont wanna think about the past 3 or 4 days, for some reason my brain wasnt working and yeah, i could continue hating myself for what i did- but thats what i did the last days and it only made me eat more/worse. so here are some updates:

1. you girls are the best. when i posted the last entry, i was totally down and sort of sick of myself. i didnt expect anyone to reply... and then i saw your lovely comments. i cannot thank you enough- you are sooo motivating and kind. i will make it all up to you- i promise.

2. i never mentioned it here, and somehow i nearly forgot about it myself. approx. 2 years ago i had a herniated disk. you girls propably know this from old men or so... and it usually is. but my body is weird. this all happened because my hips are randomly twisted and so there is too much pressure on some intervertebral disk... so boring. but i tell you girls, its nothing but PAINFUL. if u move the tiniest bit, it feels like your whole spine is standing on some burning rusty nail or might collapse or what do i know. i hurts like shit. like seriously. i had some sort of pain-therapy and after that i started physio therapy. after 6month or so, i was fine again. of course i still tend to have probs with my back, but thats nothing compared to what i have experienced whit that intervertebral disk. i didnt really have probs for like 6months now.
sunday, i wanted to pick something up from the floor and suddenly there was this pain again. i did some stretching and it got better. but- to shorten this cause i bet i'm so boring- since sunday my back/spine is a real problem. i cant really do my workout because i fear the disk might slip out of my spine again (u get what i mean?)
and this really sucks! i'm going to the gym tomorrow anyways.. i'll just be careful.

3. i hate it that i cant punish myself with running or anything sporty now!

4. my first radio-report was on air on monday. yesterday, the whole redaction was meeting and usually everyone critics everyone else. but for some reason everyone liked what i did. yay! doing the next one for next monday already. this is exciting!

5. dont really like hanging with my friends here lately. i'm more and more yearning for solitude.. cause in the end my friends now shit about why i feel bad about myself. they think i might feel batter when i have some of their choclate. TOTALLY GIRLS.

6. planning to stay under 700 cals. this is a lot and easy to most of you- i know. i blame the fact that i wanna eat so much (especially things with billions of cals like choc, crisps or sweets) on my stupid period. cant wait til its over!!

7. taking my fatburner pills again. i hope they work. i'm only taking 2 instead of 4, because last time i took for they made me feel dizzy and sick.


i guess thats it loves. i wanna appologize again that i neglected you and your blogs. but as i said: i'll make it up!
tons and tons of skinny love to all of you!

disappearing

sorry for slighty disappearing girls. i feel like shit. and i dont even wanna think about how many cals i ate today.
i'll try to restart the whole thing tomorrow. i'm sorry.

SUPERMODEL-THINSPO: Elsa Hosk

yet another stunning model. i think she has a very special look.. cant really describe it. just like the nice happy girl who loves to just run over a meadow in spring, loving her life. what i really like about her, is that she looks delicate but also strong. and her face is perfect for 50ties styles/ vintage shoots. no idea why i think that.
i thought it would be nice to let you skinnies also know some "important" facts about the models, could be really thinspiring. Elsa is 175cm tall, her waist is 58cm and her hip 88cm.

frickin failure.

i am totally ashamed to tell you girls about this. yesterday was terrible. thats why i didnt post anything. i knew that it would go really bad, with my bestie back home and the fact that we were getting completely wasted. i was eating like.... like... i dont even know a word in any language to describe it. i am a frickin WHALE right now. i had like 650cals or so over the day, then we got drunk with billions of cals. like really completely wasted. and then i started stuffin chocolate (!!!) pringles (!!!) and some yoghurt-madarines-cake into my face like a mad person. like there was no tomorrow. i was already feeling sick and my stomach was more than full but i didnt stop.
i desperately tried to purge- but whatever i do, it never works for me and it only comes up "natural". i was feeling sooo sick. ic couldnt even lie in a bed cause my stomach was so full. i disgusted myself. i'm so sorry to disgust you with that.

my bestie doesnt really feel good today, so we decided not to go out tonight and just hang out and watch movies or play games. LUCKILY- no alc.
i'm trying to stay under 700cals today. already had a slice of bread with nutella at her place. i'd say 200. and i'll propably have to eat some pistachios with her tonight. so a max of 350 until then. possible.
anyways, i propably put on like a kilo with that bingefest yesterday. i hate myself and my non existant self-control. seriously.

also planning to join a liquid fast from monday to wednesday. (i'll only eat if it is absolutely necessary!)

oh, better dont ask about my weight. i'll post that story later. depressing enough.
thinspo to make up for this will follow.
i need you girlies <3

GOOD GIRL :)

hello all you skinny bitches ;)

the party yesterday was a real succes! i have been working as cashier for one hour and then got in with a friend for a while, didnt wanna stay too long. i havent been drinking, cause of the calories and also because i didnt feel like (how weird is that??) but i regreted it a little, the music was great and the club was really full- didnt expect that. and you know what girls? i'm geeting prettier aka thinner.
i was used to boys watching me, i mean boys always look at girls with long blonde hair.. but when i was fatter, they didnt really try to talk to me or so. and yesterday it was crazy! like 5 guys tried to flirt with me! yay! :) (i dont care about those guys, not the slightes. but obviously i look better meanwhile! SUCCES!)

today i have been a really good girl to make up for yesterday.

TODAYS INTAKE:

* small portion of my special muesli, sonsisting of yoghurt, few teaspoons of cereals and special k and half a small apple (~ 130cals)
* a few french fries with ketchup (~ max 200cals)
* cuccumber with curd (~ 50cals)
*corny free bar (~ 65 cals)
* having a grapefruit or a low cal pudding now (~ 80cals)

TOTAL: 525cals

TODAYS WORKOUT:

*25mins Crosstrainer
*40mins muscle training
*120 crunches
*150 jumping jacks (rest will follow)

its only 2 days until i'll know my exact weight. and i measured myself at home and wrote it down. i'm going to see how much i lost then. exciting!
its only 2 days until i see my best friend again. i cant believe it. i know, i propably annoy you girls with always mentioning that... sorry. but i am soooo looking forward to seeing her!
i'm going through her facebook photos everyday... and what makes me sad inside is that its true that she's gained over there (australia). i know she's not happy with it. she was a thin girl once, and how can a thin girl ever be happy being fat? she is my best friend, and i want loads of people to look like whales next to me... but not her. course its cool to be the "prettier"/"thinner" one. but i want us to be at least nearly equal. i'm gonna talk to her about that.. and maybe we can lose weight together. i truely wanna help her, because i love her!





but if one thing is sure, then that i am going to put on a lot of weight over that weekend. we're going to get drunk at least twice and then i'll binge with the others. even if i could hold myself back, i will eat the pringles or the chocolate my bestie is going to eat. because i want her to feel home and happy with me.
i'll try to eat not more than 400-500cals over the day, if possible. and i'm going to work harder next week. its worth it.

BAD GIRL

hi loves,
i've been a bad girl today.. and yesterday night.
yesterday night, i didnt have the yoghurt i posted because i thought i'd eat it. no. i had a whole slice of bread with nutella on it. NUTELLA. i was doing so well at the gym and then i binge with nutella. argh!

today i've basicly been at the uni non-stop. i had a 2 hours break wich i spent with my bf, because he lives near the uni. ate at his place also. just came home (its 7pm here) and have to leave in 30mins again. because at 8pm there's a meeting of the radio i started working at. i might be on air next week. exciting! after that meeting i'll be home for maybe an hour and have to leave to work at a party for 1hour again. pretty tough day :)

What's also exciting is that my best friend is coming back on FRIDAY. i missed her sooo much these last months and i cant wait to see her again! i'm so gonna cry.. girlish, i know. so i'll leave my place thursday afternoon and i will stand on WORKING SCALES on friday. i'm so excited about that too! i hope with what i ate today and yesterday i didnt gain! cross your fingers for meee girlies :)

TODAYS INTAKE:

*small bowl of cereals (~150cals)
*small pretzel at the uni (~130cals)
*salad an bowl of pasta with tomato sauce at my bf's (~220cals)
*corny free (65cals)
*choco drink (nooo idea. say 130cals)
*piece of chocolate (~150cals)

TOTAL: 750cals
and i think i will have something around 60cals later. argh! TOO MUCH!

TODAYS EXERCISE:

nothing yet!!!
jumping jacks and crunches will follow.



i'm really sorry.. i'm not thinspiring at all lately. i'm hoping that tomorrow i will do better. i feel like that chocolate is already turning into flabby fat-rolls. why did i eat it?! i am so stupid. i really feel like going to the gym and work out until i collapse to make up for that. but no time. TOMORROW!!!!

i'll cheer you all up

a lot of you lovelies have been complaining about having their period and therefor not losing weight. i know that totally sucks. and i wanna support you girls.. but since i cannot make your period go away, i got you this:

i'm taking the pill. as you propably know, you take it 3 weeks and then you stop taking it for 1 week. and in this week you will have your period, because of the lack of hormons in your body. pretty easy so far. well. not if your body is a little weird and you feels like dont feed it enough. like my stupid body obviously does. so it just decided to start my period NOW. it was due in exactly one week. yay?! i had that once.. and i know what it means. i will have a lighter period than usually. yay?! it will stay for 2 weeks. TWO, t w o weeks.
i hope u all feel better with your few days period-time now :)

I was sticking to the PLAN today.. but i am a little upset with myself cause i ate things i didnt wanna eat just because everyone did. argh!

TODAYS INTAKE:

* special K with yoghurt and half an apple (~200cals)
* half a plate of spaetzle(noodles) with cheese-sauce at the uni-cafeteria (~ 250cals)
* white chocolate with strawberry ( no idea. say 150cals to be safe.)
* yoghurt (80cals)

TOTAL : 680cals

TODAYS WORKOUT:

*200 Jumping Jacks (50 will follow)
*120 Crunches
*25 mins on the Crosstrainer (going realy fast!)
*45mins muscle training
*1,5km fast walking

I really did great at the gym today. i have so much to tell you girls, but i have no time right now... but tomorrow night, i promise!

think thin!

THE PLAN:

elegantthinspo and me made up a plan for this week, so that we stay strong and lose a lot (hopefully.) we've already done a liquid-fast day wich worked fine together, so i'm pretty optimistic. so here's our masterplan ;) :

EXERCISE:

*250+ Jumping jacks per day. (like 50 in the morning, 50 before lunch, 50...u get the idea)
*100+ Crunches per day
*swimming/gym whenever we find the time. (for me: gym at least every 2nd day)

FOOD:

*max intake of 1000cals. (thats doable!)
*try to stay around 600cals
*if u mess up one day and eat more than 1000, the next day you eat 700 minus the extra-cals. (if u eat 1200 one day, the next will be: 700-200= 500cals)

i know, to some of you skinnies this might sound ridiculously easy. but i think that it is so important to stay motivated during all of this. so putting goals too high is not what we should do. This plan is definately doable, and thats the good thing about it. it will feel great when this week is over ( Friday) and we can proudly say: We did it.

So here's the stuff about today:

TODAYS INTAKE:

*small portion of noodles with tomato sauce (max 200cals)
*ice cream at the park (180cals)
*another tiny portion of noodles with sauce and peppers (max 180cals)
*curd with fresh strawberries and sugar (max 120 cals)

TOTAL: 680cals

TODAYS EXERCISE:

*120 Crunches
...
THINSPO:



been on the toilet today. followers know what i mean. yay :)

underestimation

weeell. we went out yesterday, and we got free cocktails, cause we were the birthday girls. i had like 3 and then wine and vodka..... i totally underestimated everything. i used to drink A LOT. like really a lot. but i havent been drinking for quite a while now (didnt feel like going out) and i havent been drinking on a 500-600cals stomach.
we were dancing all night, that burned some cals i hope! but then we went to mc donalds!!! you heard right. drunk, hungry and mc donalds. everyone had burgers. i took french fries and shared them with everyone. but dont really remember how much i actually ate. i felt really sick afterwards. luckily, i threw it all up about 20mins later.
i still had billions auf alcohol-calories. so unnecessary!!
a "friend" of mine asked me if i lost weight yesterday. strange situation. i dont like it when people ask that YET. cause i'm still too fat. i said "erm.. possible." i should have replied "no, actually i just put on a ton the last year. just getting rid of that now." cause thats the truth.

i woke up with an amazingly flat stomach. i love this feeling. and the hip-bones.
but i have to eat something to make the headache go away. i think having something about 250cals is okay.. wont eat dinner then.
update later.
sorry for this strange post. in a hurry again!
love to you all

getting better.

hello loves;

1. same problem with the new scales as with the old ones. it is propably the floor. a live in a centuries old house (Art Nouveau, LOVE IT) wich has been renovated a couple of times, i guess 5 years ago was the last time. but i guess its not that easy to make sure that the parquet is 100% even. i'll try the new ones in the bathroom tomorrow and then decide if i give them back or keep them. i so wanna know my exact weight!

2. you guys are lucky i didnt post this morning. i was so pissed because of several things.
- i had to walk through the center of the city (empty stomach) at around 12:30pm. EVERYONE was munching. pizza, french fries, ice-cream....no suprise most of them were fat. and skinny people munching stuff like that dont only make me jealous (why are they so lucky?!) but they also make me wanna scream at them:" Dont u appreciate being thin?? There are girls working their ass off to become what you are. Appreciate that NOW!"
-then, the thing with my scales.
- and most of all: I am ffing taking laxatives since monday and i havent been on the toilet since then!!!

yeah lucky i didnt post then. just been at the toilet. :)

3. todays a good day, too! i didnt do any workout but i carried shopping bags filled with veggies and bottles through the town and i'm going to do my crunches later. i also didnt eat much.

4. TODAYS INTAKE:

*1/4 apple with low fat yoghurt and 3 spoons muesli and 3spoons special K (~150cals)
* smaaaaall portion special K with 0,1% fat milk (~85cals)
* small portion special K with 0,1% fat milk (~115cals)
* bowl of cauliflower soup i made yesterday (max.50cals)

TOTAL: 400cals

my bf is coming over in a few and i guess i'll make him some fresh strawberry-curd, with low fat curd and low fat yoghurt. going to try that then too and might have a mini-portion of the soup again, because it is sooo yummie. (i love it when things i cooked taste so good. makes me proud of myself and even more proud if it barely contains calories and is soo healthy.)

TODYAS EXERCISE:

*120 Crunches
*40mins walking with heavy bags (does that count??)

5. oh and i know, you all must be thinking she is spending sooo much time with her bf, what about friends? i usually hang out with friends at about as much as with my bf. i just dont feel like being "girly" and the only one i wanna have around me is him. cancelled on my friends yesterday also. but tomorrow me and a friend are going to celebrate our birthdays (mine was in march) i'm gonna see everyone and it will be fine. exept for the fact that we have to get totally drunk. what wouldnt be bad if there wasnt the fact that alcohol contains like billions of cals per ml. so i'm going to try to stay under 500 again tomorrow (400 would be even better) and get drunk the evening. shouldnt need more than 500cals to get drunk, right?

6. i totally feel better meanwhile. propably because this is my 2nd "less-than-600-day" and maybe because there are only 7 days to go until i see my beloved bestie again. missed her so much. oh, and that mean 7 days until i can step on some reliable scales. EXCITING!!

Skinny thoughts to all of you!



this is not where i live, but my house is build in the same style, as mentioned "Art Nouveau". (Keep reading my blog and your art and history grades propably will improve.. haha )

BREAD IS LUXURY II

i did pretty good today. after taking a shower i got hungry again but i fell asleep in my bed. woke up 1 1/2h later and started cooking cauliflower-soup. had a portion, went out and started working then. now i'm having a low cal yoghurt in wich i put little peach-pieces.
soooooo, in numbers:

TODAYS INTAKE:

*cereals (~150cals)
*cauliflower-soup (~75cals)
*corny free (~ 65cals)
*yoghurt with peach (dunno really. say ~130cals max)

TOTAL: 420cals yet.

TODYAS WORKOUT:

35mins running
120 crunches

going to stay at my bf's playe tonight. might have to eat something there. i'll try to stay under 550 anyway! and i guess i wont we able to step on my scale tomorow then, pretty logical, since i'm at my bfs house.
stay strong my beloves skinnies!

SUPERMODEL-THINSPO: Candice Swanepoel

no victoria's secret show without her. she is one of the best underwear models, no wonder if you see her amazing body. she's so thin but still has feminine curves.
if you're into some guy, ask him if he think she's hot. cause if he tells you "no", he'll propably never be into you, no matter how much you work on your body. he's just gay then, maybe he'll be agood friend :)

BREAD IS LUXURY

hey girls. i got to the uni really early this morning, but only for 1,5 hours. so i used the time to go and look for new scales. gonna step on them tomorrow morning. somehow i really fear what i might see. i'm trying not to expect less than 63. cause that would be better than nothing. i had 150cals for breakfast and when i cam home i was really hungry, that was around 11:30am. then i went running. i only made it 35mins. i haven't been running for over a year but still i'm a little disappointed. good thing is i dont really feel hungry anymore. gonna update what i ate tonight.
and thanks for your lovely comments, they're really comforting :)

"i'm just not happy"

thats what i told my bf today, after he asked me what was going on with me the last days and why i seem to be so depressed. i dunno how to explain this, but the last days i didnt wanna do anything. i would like to stay in my room all day and completely ignore whats going on outside. i'd like to ignore the girls planning things we "totlly gotta do today, tomorrow, the weekend." i feel like i'm only going out/doing stuff cause "everybody does". i'm pretty sure you all know this feeling and its okay sometimes, but i'm fed up with it. i want to want to go party, go see a movie, go have a coffee with friends....
my only hope is that it's just a phase. just a phase cause i'm so unhappy with my body/weight. and it will be so damn over when i see a 60... on some NEW scales. but somehow i dont dare stepping on a scale that works. what if it shows that i gained?? with my metobolism you never know. (btw: taking laxatives since 2 days, NOTHING happened yet. gotta increase the dosis tomorrow.)

TODAYS INTAKE:

*yoghurt (55cals)
*salad with cucumber (~100cals)
*milkshake (~ 220cals)
*few spongebob cornflakes (no milk) (~100cals)
*ice cream and milk (150cals)
*tuna (50cals)

= 675cals.

TODYAS WORKOUT:

*15min Crosstrainer
*15min Treadmill
*30min muscle training
*120 crunches

i was in a hurry at the gym today. i'll do better next time. and i'm planning to go running for 45mins or so tomorrow.
i hope you girls feel fine and are doing better than me. i'm going to look for new scales tomorrow. so i guess on friday we'll all know how much my body hates me.
(sorry for so much depressing stuff. i'm usually not like that- really.)

shootmenow

i just ate like 8-10 gummibear-animals.BIGGER than the small bears.
tomorrow i'm at the uni the whole afternoon, till 7pm. not gonna eat there. 500cals-day. pleaaase!

THINSPO

hi girls. i dont like myself today and somehow i dont like anyone else either. exept for you gorgeous girls who understand why i dont like myself and why i hate that i am eating so much. had about 700 cals yet. i suck. uni sucks.
oh and i am actually just assuming that i weigh 63kg by now. i cant use that scale. it makes me crazy not knowing the exact weight. i gotta look for a new scale.. but it shouldnt be too expensive cause i bought the weird one just 2 month ago...(didnt work from the beginning!).
i've been at the uni the whole day and i am already in a hurry again to get there. propably going to eat at least 150cals again. argh. tomorrow: GYM!!!!

some thinspo for you lovelies:

diet-shooping

first day of uni went fine.
as we went eating i didnt really like the warm food so a took a small bowl of carrot and one of cucumber salad. i spent the afternoon with my bf in the sun and we went to the gym later. i worked my ass off and burned about 400cals, i guess.
after that i bought a dietary protein-shake. but still 1 portion has about 150cals. i also got some very light laxatives wich i wanna try, because there is something wrong with my digestion. i only go to the toilet like every 3 days or so... and thats definately wrong. i think pooping once a day is okay. so i'll also try them tomorrow.

Todays Intake:
* 100g low cal yoghurt with 1/2 apple and 5 teaspoons of cereal (ca. 150cals)
* salads at the uni (dunno about the dressings, so i say 200cals)
* ice cream with my bf (220cals)
* salad with rest of tuna ( 80cals)
for now: 650 cals. but i'll have sth of like 150 cals now. think it went fine.
i'm tooo lazy and in a rush to post thinspo today my loves. but tomorrow okay?

ohhh.. i stepped on my weirdo-scale this morning. it was showing results between 64,4kg (impossible!!) and 62,4kg (also impossible, YET) so i guess it is still aroung little more than 63. i'm gonna step on it on wednesday again and hope to be under 63 then.

Love to you my skinnies

now.

i was cleening half of my room today. exactly half. there is so much dust in this flat and i have no idea where its coming from. so i cleaned half of my dusty room. better than nothing.
i am totally annoyed by the girl-roomie. it's not that she's doing anything bad, i just dont know what to talk to her about.. and she's never here alone, always takes her stupid bf with her. usually, they're not here and stay at his flat. (i think) and then sometimes they come here and use every tool in the kitchen you could possibly use to cook something and DONT clean anything up. i was so fucking pissed this morning finding the kitchen covered in dishes and all the stuff they used. now, they're in the kitchen again and totally ignoring their own mess. makes me sick!

my eating today wasnt bad even if i'm a moody bitch today.
INTAKE:

* green beans -about 80cals
* cucumber salad - max 150cals
* cup of yoghurt with some cereals and honey - max 200cals
* some tuna with tomato - 75cals

that makes 505 cals. if i cant fall asleep or feel hungry i guess i'm gonna eat something, cause i need my sleep since uni starts again tomorrow.
gonna stay under 600cals anyway and thats fine i think.

thanks for your support skinnies.

that will be us in summer. cant wait....

MAKE IT HAPPEN

i couldnt fall asleep last night, as for some reason the whole last week. it really feels like insomnia. first i thought it also comes from my fatblocker-pills,but as i didnt eat yesterday i didnt take them and i was still awake at 4 am. (I blame the pills for the dizzyness though and from now on i'm only gonna take them if i eat sth really fatty.) so i stepped on my weirdo-scale and after 10 trials it showed 63,4 several times, so i think that this is the "right" wight. this morning i tried 4 times or so and it still showed 63,4, even though i got rid of at least half a liter of water on the toilet before. little strange, but 63,4kg is fine with me anyways.
every scale works different.

Are you girls stepping on other scales from time to time? And if so, are there differences? Id' really like to know that, would be nice if you could tell me about your experiences.

i'm gonna have green beans with something later and then go to the gym. i dream of being near 63kg on monday, so i'll try to have about 500cals today.

You know what makes me so happy besides my self control when i barely eat a thing?
The feeling when i touch my flat (the fat mostly sits on the sides then) stomach when i wake up. I just love that and i see that its all worth it.

Stay strong my loves, we can do this!

SUPERMODEL-THINSPO: Abbey Lee Kershaw

one of my top 5 (or maybe even 3) all time favourite models. perfect face, eyes, lips.. and body of course. i think she is simply stunning, no wonder she's working for D&G and Gucci and done editorials for Vogue Australia and billion other mags.










i could post dozen of other pics cause she is so stunning in every single one. i just love her face. maybe i'll post some b/w pics next week or so. if you girls are interested!

Liquid Fast

as i told in my last post, i'm not gonna eat today. so far everything is going fine, i dont really feel hungry and if so i'm drinking water or tea. when i'm out with my friend later i'll have a juice or something. i'm gonna be so happy if this day is over and i didnt eat.

also, i thought i could lose another kilo in these 3 days. i'm gonna step on the scale on monday monring. bad thing is, my scale here is a total bitch. if i step on it 5 times i propably get 5 different results. i gotta find a special position or something.
you girls have any experiences with weird scales??

Oh, and i read an interesting article in some magazine at the gym yesterday. it was about the importance of protein. as we all know, protein is important if u wanna build muscles. but yesterday i learned that it is totally important if u wanna lose weight too! especially CASEIN-shakes are pretty useful. they are usually low-cal, low-carb and low-fat. and, as told in the magazine, they make u feel saturated and prevent raveousness.
So i'm gonna look for some casein-shakes now. i think i could use them as breakfast before going to the uni or so.

a special HI to my new followers. it really means a lot to me that some people in this world sort of feel the same and are interested in the stupid stuff i'm posting everyday. your blogs are so helpful. they are not only inspiring and making me strong but also they can keep me away from eating for hours. thanks so much for that to all you gorgeous girls.

i'm gonna post some thinspo later.
have a great day and think thin!

whatever

just coming back from gym. burned at about 180cals on the crosstrainer and did muscle-training. i didnt drink enough- everything went black and i had to sit down for a minute. i really fear collapsing in public. i never had problems like this and i definately already ate less. thats stupid. my fckin body wants to keep me away from getting thinner.
had an apple.
so that makes 265cals for today. not that bad. guess i burned just about as much at the gym.

i'm trying the liquid fast tomorrow. will be haning out with a friend the afternoon and NO i will not collapse.
gotta get going now, my bf is waiting.

loads of skinny love to you ;)

A MOMENT ON THE LIPS...

morning ladies,

soo. today was scale day and i wanted to lose 1 kg from tuesday to friday(today.)
As you can see on my weight ticker, i achieved that! Scale showed 63,9 this morning.
I was calculating a little (i suck at math) and found out that i was losing that kilo in like 3 days. so it is damn possible to lose 1,5kg per week. it should even be possible to lose 2kg. thing is, i havent done any sports here. and from today on i'm planning to kill myself at the gym at least every 2nd day. but i dont wanna be disappointed (its enough to see that fat flabby person in the mirror everyday) so i'll try to lose 1,5kg per week. expecting binges anyways.

i woke up an hour or so ago and my nose started bleeding. its like my body hates me. but dont worry dearest body- i hate you too. and i'm gonna show you who's boss.

i'm planning to stay under 300cals today. wont be too easy.. i have to cook for my sister in half an hour. and i'll have i few bites of the rice pudding she requested. like 2-3 spoons. then i'll get on the train and go to my flat. looking forward to seeing my roomies. looking forward to going to the gym this evening. (got to have an apple or so before that.) looking forward to seeing my boyfriend and sleeping at his place.

saturday i'll meet one of my best friends of the uni and hang out with her. AND i'm planning a 1 day liquid fast with the great girl behind "elegant thinspo".

we're so going to be skinny girls. i can feel it.

UPDATE:
call me bingequeen. just had about 170cals of rice pudding. I DONT EVEN LIKE RICE PUDDING. i'm eating lots of things i actually dont like. i hate myself. argh!

HAPPY GIRL THINSPO FOR YOU LOVELIES
even though i feel like shit cause i just seen myself in undies.





i can totally understand why these girls are so happy. and we can be just as happy. all we have to do is stay strong and avoid food. small price for happiness, dont ya think??