hello all you skinny bitches ;)

the party yesterday was a real succes! i have been working as cashier for one hour and then got in with a friend for a while, didnt wanna stay too long. i havent been drinking, cause of the calories and also because i didnt feel like (how weird is that??) but i regreted it a little, the music was great and the club was really full- didnt expect that. and you know what girls? i'm geeting prettier aka thinner.
i was used to boys watching me, i mean boys always look at girls with long blonde hair.. but when i was fatter, they didnt really try to talk to me or so. and yesterday it was crazy! like 5 guys tried to flirt with me! yay! :) (i dont care about those guys, not the slightes. but obviously i look better meanwhile! SUCCES!)

today i have been a really good girl to make up for yesterday.


* small portion of my special muesli, sonsisting of yoghurt, few teaspoons of cereals and special k and half a small apple (~ 130cals)
* a few french fries with ketchup (~ max 200cals)
* cuccumber with curd (~ 50cals)
*corny free bar (~ 65 cals)
* having a grapefruit or a low cal pudding now (~ 80cals)

TOTAL: 525cals


*25mins Crosstrainer
*40mins muscle training
*120 crunches
*150 jumping jacks (rest will follow)

its only 2 days until i'll know my exact weight. and i measured myself at home and wrote it down. i'm going to see how much i lost then. exciting!
its only 2 days until i see my best friend again. i cant believe it. i know, i propably annoy you girls with always mentioning that... sorry. but i am soooo looking forward to seeing her!
i'm going through her facebook photos everyday... and what makes me sad inside is that its true that she's gained over there (australia). i know she's not happy with it. she was a thin girl once, and how can a thin girl ever be happy being fat? she is my best friend, and i want loads of people to look like whales next to me... but not her. course its cool to be the "prettier"/"thinner" one. but i want us to be at least nearly equal. i'm gonna talk to her about that.. and maybe we can lose weight together. i truely wanna help her, because i love her!

but if one thing is sure, then that i am going to put on a lot of weight over that weekend. we're going to get drunk at least twice and then i'll binge with the others. even if i could hold myself back, i will eat the pringles or the chocolate my bestie is going to eat. because i want her to feel home and happy with me.
i'll try to eat not more than 400-500cals over the day, if possible. and i'm going to work harder next week. its worth it.



hi loves,
i've been a bad girl today.. and yesterday night.
yesterday night, i didnt have the yoghurt i posted because i thought i'd eat it. no. i had a whole slice of bread with nutella on it. NUTELLA. i was doing so well at the gym and then i binge with nutella. argh!

today i've basicly been at the uni non-stop. i had a 2 hours break wich i spent with my bf, because he lives near the uni. ate at his place also. just came home (its 7pm here) and have to leave in 30mins again. because at 8pm there's a meeting of the radio i started working at. i might be on air next week. exciting! after that meeting i'll be home for maybe an hour and have to leave to work at a party for 1hour again. pretty tough day :)

What's also exciting is that my best friend is coming back on FRIDAY. i missed her sooo much these last months and i cant wait to see her again! i'm so gonna cry.. girlish, i know. so i'll leave my place thursday afternoon and i will stand on WORKING SCALES on friday. i'm so excited about that too! i hope with what i ate today and yesterday i didnt gain! cross your fingers for meee girlies :)


*small bowl of cereals (~150cals)
*small pretzel at the uni (~130cals)
*salad an bowl of pasta with tomato sauce at my bf's (~220cals)
*corny free (65cals)
*choco drink (nooo idea. say 130cals)
*piece of chocolate (~150cals)

TOTAL: 750cals
and i think i will have something around 60cals later. argh! TOO MUCH!


nothing yet!!!
jumping jacks and crunches will follow.

i'm really sorry.. i'm not thinspiring at all lately. i'm hoping that tomorrow i will do better. i feel like that chocolate is already turning into flabby fat-rolls. why did i eat it?! i am so stupid. i really feel like going to the gym and work out until i collapse to make up for that. but no time. TOMORROW!!!!


i'll cheer you all up

a lot of you lovelies have been complaining about having their period and therefor not losing weight. i know that totally sucks. and i wanna support you girls.. but since i cannot make your period go away, i got you this:

i'm taking the pill. as you propably know, you take it 3 weeks and then you stop taking it for 1 week. and in this week you will have your period, because of the lack of hormons in your body. pretty easy so far. well. not if your body is a little weird and you feels like dont feed it enough. like my stupid body obviously does. so it just decided to start my period NOW. it was due in exactly one week. yay?! i had that once.. and i know what it means. i will have a lighter period than usually. yay?! it will stay for 2 weeks. TWO, t w o weeks.
i hope u all feel better with your few days period-time now :)

I was sticking to the PLAN today.. but i am a little upset with myself cause i ate things i didnt wanna eat just because everyone did. argh!


* special K with yoghurt and half an apple (~200cals)
* half a plate of spaetzle(noodles) with cheese-sauce at the uni-cafeteria (~ 250cals)
* white chocolate with strawberry ( no idea. say 150cals to be safe.)
* yoghurt (80cals)

TOTAL : 680cals


*200 Jumping Jacks (50 will follow)
*120 Crunches
*25 mins on the Crosstrainer (going realy fast!)
*45mins muscle training
*1,5km fast walking

I really did great at the gym today. i have so much to tell you girls, but i have no time right now... but tomorrow night, i promise!

think thin!



elegantthinspo and me made up a plan for this week, so that we stay strong and lose a lot (hopefully.) we've already done a liquid-fast day wich worked fine together, so i'm pretty optimistic. so here's our masterplan ;) :


*250+ Jumping jacks per day. (like 50 in the morning, 50 before lunch, 50...u get the idea)
*100+ Crunches per day
*swimming/gym whenever we find the time. (for me: gym at least every 2nd day)


*max intake of 1000cals. (thats doable!)
*try to stay around 600cals
*if u mess up one day and eat more than 1000, the next day you eat 700 minus the extra-cals. (if u eat 1200 one day, the next will be: 700-200= 500cals)

i know, to some of you skinnies this might sound ridiculously easy. but i think that it is so important to stay motivated during all of this. so putting goals too high is not what we should do. This plan is definately doable, and thats the good thing about it. it will feel great when this week is over ( Friday) and we can proudly say: We did it.

So here's the stuff about today:


*small portion of noodles with tomato sauce (max 200cals)
*ice cream at the park (180cals)
*another tiny portion of noodles with sauce and peppers (max 180cals)
*curd with fresh strawberries and sugar (max 120 cals)

TOTAL: 680cals


*120 Crunches

been on the toilet today. followers know what i mean. yay :)


weeell. we went out yesterday, and we got free cocktails, cause we were the birthday girls. i had like 3 and then wine and vodka..... i totally underestimated everything. i used to drink A LOT. like really a lot. but i havent been drinking for quite a while now (didnt feel like going out) and i havent been drinking on a 500-600cals stomach.
we were dancing all night, that burned some cals i hope! but then we went to mc donalds!!! you heard right. drunk, hungry and mc donalds. everyone had burgers. i took french fries and shared them with everyone. but dont really remember how much i actually ate. i felt really sick afterwards. luckily, i threw it all up about 20mins later.
i still had billions auf alcohol-calories. so unnecessary!!
a "friend" of mine asked me if i lost weight yesterday. strange situation. i dont like it when people ask that YET. cause i'm still too fat. i said "erm.. possible." i should have replied "no, actually i just put on a ton the last year. just getting rid of that now." cause thats the truth.

i woke up with an amazingly flat stomach. i love this feeling. and the hip-bones.
but i have to eat something to make the headache go away. i think having something about 250cals is okay.. wont eat dinner then.
update later.
sorry for this strange post. in a hurry again!
love to you all


getting better.

hello loves;

1. same problem with the new scales as with the old ones. it is propably the floor. a live in a centuries old house (Art Nouveau, LOVE IT) wich has been renovated a couple of times, i guess 5 years ago was the last time. but i guess its not that easy to make sure that the parquet is 100% even. i'll try the new ones in the bathroom tomorrow and then decide if i give them back or keep them. i so wanna know my exact weight!

2. you guys are lucky i didnt post this morning. i was so pissed because of several things.
- i had to walk through the center of the city (empty stomach) at around 12:30pm. EVERYONE was munching. pizza, french fries, ice-cream....no suprise most of them were fat. and skinny people munching stuff like that dont only make me jealous (why are they so lucky?!) but they also make me wanna scream at them:" Dont u appreciate being thin?? There are girls working their ass off to become what you are. Appreciate that NOW!"
-then, the thing with my scales.
- and most of all: I am ffing taking laxatives since monday and i havent been on the toilet since then!!!

yeah lucky i didnt post then. just been at the toilet. :)

3. todays a good day, too! i didnt do any workout but i carried shopping bags filled with veggies and bottles through the town and i'm going to do my crunches later. i also didnt eat much.


*1/4 apple with low fat yoghurt and 3 spoons muesli and 3spoons special K (~150cals)
* smaaaaall portion special K with 0,1% fat milk (~85cals)
* small portion special K with 0,1% fat milk (~115cals)
* bowl of cauliflower soup i made yesterday (max.50cals)

TOTAL: 400cals

my bf is coming over in a few and i guess i'll make him some fresh strawberry-curd, with low fat curd and low fat yoghurt. going to try that then too and might have a mini-portion of the soup again, because it is sooo yummie. (i love it when things i cooked taste so good. makes me proud of myself and even more proud if it barely contains calories and is soo healthy.)


*120 Crunches
*40mins walking with heavy bags (does that count??)

5. oh and i know, you all must be thinking she is spending sooo much time with her bf, what about friends? i usually hang out with friends at about as much as with my bf. i just dont feel like being "girly" and the only one i wanna have around me is him. cancelled on my friends yesterday also. but tomorrow me and a friend are going to celebrate our birthdays (mine was in march) i'm gonna see everyone and it will be fine. exept for the fact that we have to get totally drunk. what wouldnt be bad if there wasnt the fact that alcohol contains like billions of cals per ml. so i'm going to try to stay under 500 again tomorrow (400 would be even better) and get drunk the evening. shouldnt need more than 500cals to get drunk, right?

6. i totally feel better meanwhile. propably because this is my 2nd "less-than-600-day" and maybe because there are only 7 days to go until i see my beloved bestie again. missed her so much. oh, and that mean 7 days until i can step on some reliable scales. EXCITING!!

Skinny thoughts to all of you!

this is not where i live, but my house is build in the same style, as mentioned "Art Nouveau". (Keep reading my blog and your art and history grades propably will improve.. haha )



i did pretty good today. after taking a shower i got hungry again but i fell asleep in my bed. woke up 1 1/2h later and started cooking cauliflower-soup. had a portion, went out and started working then. now i'm having a low cal yoghurt in wich i put little peach-pieces.
soooooo, in numbers:


*cereals (~150cals)
*cauliflower-soup (~75cals)
*corny free (~ 65cals)
*yoghurt with peach (dunno really. say ~130cals max)

TOTAL: 420cals yet.


35mins running
120 crunches

going to stay at my bf's playe tonight. might have to eat something there. i'll try to stay under 550 anyway! and i guess i wont we able to step on my scale tomorow then, pretty logical, since i'm at my bfs house.
stay strong my beloves skinnies!


no victoria's secret show without her. she is one of the best underwear models, no wonder if you see her amazing body. she's so thin but still has feminine curves.
if you're into some guy, ask him if he think she's hot. cause if he tells you "no", he'll propably never be into you, no matter how much you work on your body. he's just gay then, maybe he'll be agood friend :)


hey girls. i got to the uni really early this morning, but only for 1,5 hours. so i used the time to go and look for new scales. gonna step on them tomorrow morning. somehow i really fear what i might see. i'm trying not to expect less than 63. cause that would be better than nothing. i had 150cals for breakfast and when i cam home i was really hungry, that was around 11:30am. then i went running. i only made it 35mins. i haven't been running for over a year but still i'm a little disappointed. good thing is i dont really feel hungry anymore. gonna update what i ate tonight.
and thanks for your lovely comments, they're really comforting :)


"i'm just not happy"

thats what i told my bf today, after he asked me what was going on with me the last days and why i seem to be so depressed. i dunno how to explain this, but the last days i didnt wanna do anything. i would like to stay in my room all day and completely ignore whats going on outside. i'd like to ignore the girls planning things we "totlly gotta do today, tomorrow, the weekend." i feel like i'm only going out/doing stuff cause "everybody does". i'm pretty sure you all know this feeling and its okay sometimes, but i'm fed up with it. i want to want to go party, go see a movie, go have a coffee with friends....
my only hope is that it's just a phase. just a phase cause i'm so unhappy with my body/weight. and it will be so damn over when i see a 60... on some NEW scales. but somehow i dont dare stepping on a scale that works. what if it shows that i gained?? with my metobolism you never know. (btw: taking laxatives since 2 days, NOTHING happened yet. gotta increase the dosis tomorrow.)


*yoghurt (55cals)
*salad with cucumber (~100cals)
*milkshake (~ 220cals)
*few spongebob cornflakes (no milk) (~100cals)
*ice cream and milk (150cals)
*tuna (50cals)

= 675cals.


*15min Crosstrainer
*15min Treadmill
*30min muscle training
*120 crunches

i was in a hurry at the gym today. i'll do better next time. and i'm planning to go running for 45mins or so tomorrow.
i hope you girls feel fine and are doing better than me. i'm going to look for new scales tomorrow. so i guess on friday we'll all know how much my body hates me.
(sorry for so much depressing stuff. i'm usually not like that- really.)



i just ate like 8-10 gummibear-animals.BIGGER than the small bears.
tomorrow i'm at the uni the whole afternoon, till 7pm. not gonna eat there. 500cals-day. pleaaase!


hi girls. i dont like myself today and somehow i dont like anyone else either. exept for you gorgeous girls who understand why i dont like myself and why i hate that i am eating so much. had about 700 cals yet. i suck. uni sucks.
oh and i am actually just assuming that i weigh 63kg by now. i cant use that scale. it makes me crazy not knowing the exact weight. i gotta look for a new scale.. but it shouldnt be too expensive cause i bought the weird one just 2 month ago...(didnt work from the beginning!).
i've been at the uni the whole day and i am already in a hurry again to get there. propably going to eat at least 150cals again. argh. tomorrow: GYM!!!!

some thinspo for you lovelies:



first day of uni went fine.
as we went eating i didnt really like the warm food so a took a small bowl of carrot and one of cucumber salad. i spent the afternoon with my bf in the sun and we went to the gym later. i worked my ass off and burned about 400cals, i guess.
after that i bought a dietary protein-shake. but still 1 portion has about 150cals. i also got some very light laxatives wich i wanna try, because there is something wrong with my digestion. i only go to the toilet like every 3 days or so... and thats definately wrong. i think pooping once a day is okay. so i'll also try them tomorrow.

Todays Intake:
* 100g low cal yoghurt with 1/2 apple and 5 teaspoons of cereal (ca. 150cals)
* salads at the uni (dunno about the dressings, so i say 200cals)
* ice cream with my bf (220cals)
* salad with rest of tuna ( 80cals)
for now: 650 cals. but i'll have sth of like 150 cals now. think it went fine.
i'm tooo lazy and in a rush to post thinspo today my loves. but tomorrow okay?

ohhh.. i stepped on my weirdo-scale this morning. it was showing results between 64,4kg (impossible!!) and 62,4kg (also impossible, YET) so i guess it is still aroung little more than 63. i'm gonna step on it on wednesday again and hope to be under 63 then.

Love to you my skinnies



i was cleening half of my room today. exactly half. there is so much dust in this flat and i have no idea where its coming from. so i cleaned half of my dusty room. better than nothing.
i am totally annoyed by the girl-roomie. it's not that she's doing anything bad, i just dont know what to talk to her about.. and she's never here alone, always takes her stupid bf with her. usually, they're not here and stay at his flat. (i think) and then sometimes they come here and use every tool in the kitchen you could possibly use to cook something and DONT clean anything up. i was so fucking pissed this morning finding the kitchen covered in dishes and all the stuff they used. now, they're in the kitchen again and totally ignoring their own mess. makes me sick!

my eating today wasnt bad even if i'm a moody bitch today.

* green beans -about 80cals
* cucumber salad - max 150cals
* cup of yoghurt with some cereals and honey - max 200cals
* some tuna with tomato - 75cals

that makes 505 cals. if i cant fall asleep or feel hungry i guess i'm gonna eat something, cause i need my sleep since uni starts again tomorrow.
gonna stay under 600cals anyway and thats fine i think.

thanks for your support skinnies.

that will be us in summer. cant wait....


i couldnt fall asleep last night, as for some reason the whole last week. it really feels like insomnia. first i thought it also comes from my fatblocker-pills,but as i didnt eat yesterday i didnt take them and i was still awake at 4 am. (I blame the pills for the dizzyness though and from now on i'm only gonna take them if i eat sth really fatty.) so i stepped on my weirdo-scale and after 10 trials it showed 63,4 several times, so i think that this is the "right" wight. this morning i tried 4 times or so and it still showed 63,4, even though i got rid of at least half a liter of water on the toilet before. little strange, but 63,4kg is fine with me anyways.
every scale works different.

Are you girls stepping on other scales from time to time? And if so, are there differences? Id' really like to know that, would be nice if you could tell me about your experiences.

i'm gonna have green beans with something later and then go to the gym. i dream of being near 63kg on monday, so i'll try to have about 500cals today.

You know what makes me so happy besides my self control when i barely eat a thing?
The feeling when i touch my flat (the fat mostly sits on the sides then) stomach when i wake up. I just love that and i see that its all worth it.

Stay strong my loves, we can do this!



one of my top 5 (or maybe even 3) all time favourite models. perfect face, eyes, lips.. and body of course. i think she is simply stunning, no wonder she's working for D&G and Gucci and done editorials for Vogue Australia and billion other mags.

i could post dozen of other pics cause she is so stunning in every single one. i just love her face. maybe i'll post some b/w pics next week or so. if you girls are interested!

Liquid Fast

as i told in my last post, i'm not gonna eat today. so far everything is going fine, i dont really feel hungry and if so i'm drinking water or tea. when i'm out with my friend later i'll have a juice or something. i'm gonna be so happy if this day is over and i didnt eat.

also, i thought i could lose another kilo in these 3 days. i'm gonna step on the scale on monday monring. bad thing is, my scale here is a total bitch. if i step on it 5 times i propably get 5 different results. i gotta find a special position or something.
you girls have any experiences with weird scales??

Oh, and i read an interesting article in some magazine at the gym yesterday. it was about the importance of protein. as we all know, protein is important if u wanna build muscles. but yesterday i learned that it is totally important if u wanna lose weight too! especially CASEIN-shakes are pretty useful. they are usually low-cal, low-carb and low-fat. and, as told in the magazine, they make u feel saturated and prevent raveousness.
So i'm gonna look for some casein-shakes now. i think i could use them as breakfast before going to the uni or so.

a special HI to my new followers. it really means a lot to me that some people in this world sort of feel the same and are interested in the stupid stuff i'm posting everyday. your blogs are so helpful. they are not only inspiring and making me strong but also they can keep me away from eating for hours. thanks so much for that to all you gorgeous girls.

i'm gonna post some thinspo later.
have a great day and think thin!



just coming back from gym. burned at about 180cals on the crosstrainer and did muscle-training. i didnt drink enough- everything went black and i had to sit down for a minute. i really fear collapsing in public. i never had problems like this and i definately already ate less. thats stupid. my fckin body wants to keep me away from getting thinner.
had an apple.
so that makes 265cals for today. not that bad. guess i burned just about as much at the gym.

i'm trying the liquid fast tomorrow. will be haning out with a friend the afternoon and NO i will not collapse.
gotta get going now, my bf is waiting.

loads of skinny love to you ;)


morning ladies,

soo. today was scale day and i wanted to lose 1 kg from tuesday to friday(today.)
As you can see on my weight ticker, i achieved that! Scale showed 63,9 this morning.
I was calculating a little (i suck at math) and found out that i was losing that kilo in like 3 days. so it is damn possible to lose 1,5kg per week. it should even be possible to lose 2kg. thing is, i havent done any sports here. and from today on i'm planning to kill myself at the gym at least every 2nd day. but i dont wanna be disappointed (its enough to see that fat flabby person in the mirror everyday) so i'll try to lose 1,5kg per week. expecting binges anyways.

i woke up an hour or so ago and my nose started bleeding. its like my body hates me. but dont worry dearest body- i hate you too. and i'm gonna show you who's boss.

i'm planning to stay under 300cals today. wont be too easy.. i have to cook for my sister in half an hour. and i'll have i few bites of the rice pudding she requested. like 2-3 spoons. then i'll get on the train and go to my flat. looking forward to seeing my roomies. looking forward to going to the gym this evening. (got to have an apple or so before that.) looking forward to seeing my boyfriend and sleeping at his place.

saturday i'll meet one of my best friends of the uni and hang out with her. AND i'm planning a 1 day liquid fast with the great girl behind "elegant thinspo".

we're so going to be skinny girls. i can feel it.

call me bingequeen. just had about 170cals of rice pudding. I DONT EVEN LIKE RICE PUDDING. i'm eating lots of things i actually dont like. i hate myself. argh!

even though i feel like shit cause i just seen myself in undies.

i can totally understand why these girls are so happy. and we can be just as happy. all we have to do is stay strong and avoid food. small price for happiness, dont ya think??



hi lovelies

i have that strange feeling again. earlier this afternoon i was watching tv for like half an hour and then i go up and everything went black and i felt really dizzy.
i have been eating before that accident...i'm going to tell myself it was the food. but actualy i think its the diet-pills i'm now taking since 3 days. fat-burner. stupid since i'm not really eating much fatty things, but i thought maybe they'll burn something else instead. what do you girls think? have u any experiences to share or tipps?
maybe its also just the weird weather we have here that makes me feel like that. i'm not gonna start eating more. my body should better get used to this!
My Intake so far:

*cucumber salad out of 1/2 a cucumber and a little vinager. - propably like 80kcal
*2 amicelli 120kcal

so i'm currently at 200kcal but i'm going to have an apple or so.. and if the dizzy feeling doesn't leave a yoghurt or a corny bar. should still be staying under 400.

one of my friends (not my bff) is coming home from her 7month australia/NZ- trip tonight and i'm going to visit her later. i bet there will be food, cause she told everyone she missed german food a lot. i'll tell i already ate but still it will be difficult to resist the tempting smells.

Tomorrow it's friday and i'm going to step on the scale. As i posted earlier on i want to be on 64, and cause the scale showed my 64,3 yesterday (what might be untrue) i still hope to be in the 63s. the girls who were with me on losing that kilo, i hope you remember and you're gonna post what you've lost! i'm really excited!! i'll think of that when i see the food tonight!

lots of love and skinny thoughts to you girlies



somehow i felt strange today. cant really discribe the feeling, little dizzy and as if i could litterally feel my brain working sloooowly. everything seemed to take longer and be more difficult. no idea why, usually dont have that and its definately not cause i didnt eat enough. cause that was:

*yoghurt (150cal)
*spinach with a small egg and 5 penne-noodles (say 230cal, though i think it was less)
*2 "fritt" stripes (nooo idea. say 150kcal)
*1 1/2 Corny free bar (130kcal)
*small apple (70kcal)

= approx 730kcal.
[felt like i really needed to eat that corny, cause of the strange feeling.]


i have the goal to weigh 61,5 or less on 30 of april. my best friend (who i am missing a lot) is coming back from her 7month trip then and i cant wait to see her. i weighed about 61,5kg when we had the greatest summer together, in 2007.
we have been BF since elementary school (course we had our fights but you know) and she means sooo much to me. but its a "funny" story with us two.
she has always been a lot thinner than me. she was a skinny girl, only got bigger because she put on loads of muscles. right in that summer, we both had something going on with two guys. for me it worked out in the end (he's my boyfriend now)but "her" guy turned out to be an asshole for several reasons. u might wonder why i'm telling that. after that summer she started to put on weight. TONS. she's been skinny and i think she put on at least 15kg, propably even more. and i think that guy-thing is the reason. so now she is coming back (she told me she gained during her trip, but i dunno about that) and i thought at least one of us shouldnt be totally fat. say extremely fat. cause i'll still be a cow then.

soooo: i would have to lose at about 1,25kg per week to reach that goal. think that it possible?
and what do you lovelies think, how much weight loss is possible per week if you're eating around 500-700kcal??

Think thin sweethearts!


goooosh. give me that body. i want it so so so so bad. NOW!


sooo you know i wanted to be on 64 til friday. i actually made a rule that i am going to step on the scale on FRIDAY and no day earlier. so this morning i broke that rule.. stupid i know. BUT: it showed me 64,3kg! wtf?! i mean like how awesome would that be?! but i guess i shouldnt take that weight to serious yet.. its sort of impossible to lose 0.7kg when you eat what i ate yesterday.
i had an 150cal yoghurt this morning (yuck- usually eat 70cal yoghurt!) and my mom is going to cook lunch. yesterday she asked me what i'd like to eat.. and i wanted to say "nothing" but the thing with my mom and me is, that we're not getting along really good since ever. and that was so nice she asked so i just replied: SPINACH. lets just see what she's going to cook and have a small portion. and then eat nothing as long as possible. i love spinach.

i'm going to post some story later, if you gorgeous girls are interested in some private life...




some supermodel thinspo for you.. cause i just cant fall asleep. i think i will post more thinspos like these and you'll soon find out that girls like her are totally my type. blonde and gorgeous lips.


i've been watching myself for a while now to find out about my eating-triggers. and the worst is definately WATCHING TV:
i sit in the living room and should just watch TV but i always feel like i have to eat something. like watching tv and eating something belong together. worst thing is that i only eat shit in front of the tv. chocolate, chips, cheese, ice-cream... and most of the times i am not hungry at all. i'm just a weakling!

so my plan for today is to stay in my room, hang out in front of my computer or/and watch tv here. somehow that being in the living room makes me eat too. so i'll just try to avoid that room.

has anyone of you discovered any trigger-situations yet? and what are they like?
i think it helps a lot knowing about it, cause then u can try to avoid them.

my day hasnt been too bad, but not really good either. i had:

*slice of bread with butter and nougat-creme (i know its stupid eating that, but i couldnt resist)
*4 shortbread biscuits
*3 low-fat chips (needed something salty)
*half slice of cheese

i just made some really low cal stracciatella-mouse. i'll have like 80cals of that with some strawberries and maybe an orange later.

unfortunately i'll have to get up "early" tomorrow. sleeping late helps a lot if you're trying to eat less i think. but i have to meet some people from work in the morning and that really sucks. but more time to burn stupid caloires!

I weighed 65kg exactly this morning and on friday i wanna see something about 64.2. better: LESS!

Miranda Kerr Thinspo for today:

she has one of the most perfect bodies ever in my opinion. and i know i can only dream about looking like her. even when i reach my ultimate goal (wich seams years away..) i will look like a total fatass next to her. (th-)inspiring anyways and maybe if i reach my ultimate goal i can lose as much again. i can try at least!


these last days.

so, i'm just gonna sum up the days i've been away.

saturday went quiet well. usually, i am the total breakfast-lover. there are people who dont like eating in the mornings but i always feel like i have to have breakfast. WRONG. we (bf+me) got up pretty late and i didnt eat a thing until 4pm or so. then his mum made some green beans and croquettes and we ate. i had a small portion and was fine with that. later we made curds with strawberries. totally love that. and in the evening i ate some sweets, but im gonna post that later.
i think i had a total of 700-800 cals that day.

sunday wasnt that good.no breakfast and then i had a muffin at a coffee shop, a few french fries for lunch, dinner: salad and half a wrap. and 2 cookies as snack. must have been about 1000cals or more.
we were walking around the whole day, but anyway i regret eating the wrap. i wasnt hungry at all, but i didnt want my bf to "have to" eat alone.
at the night i had a terrible migraine-attack and i am stupid enough to not think about taking painkillers with me. honestly, i though my head was going to split or so. i cried and really wanted to die.(punishment for the many cals maybe..) so i couldnt even do my "Daily Workout" currently consisting of 100 crunches.

i dont even wanna think of how many cals i ate. had a kebap, at about 4cookies (shoot me for that!) and a mcflurry. heard right. mcflurry. oh, and 4 painkillers.
my excuse for all of that food is, that i wasnt feeling good at all. i still felt some pain at the back of my head and i was terrified it might get worse again. so i bought painkillers and took one..then two..and they didnt seem to help much. i ended up with 4 and felt sort of dizzy the whole day.

shopping was fine though, as the whole trip was. i only bought some accesoires, basics, a bag and a boyfriend blazer. wide things. my boyfriend noticed and was like "hey, try these jeans, try that skirt." but i didnt wanna. wheres the use in buying jeans when i look fat in them and, hopefully, i a few month they'll be tottering cause they're too big.
even if the night at the hotel wasnt really romantic (thx migraine!!) the whole trip showed me that me and my bf sort of belong together and that cheers me up so much. we're together since almost 3 years now and i've been doubting our relationship a lot the last few month. now i'm just happy. and i hope that this hapiness fills up my fcking stomack so that there's no room for food tomorrow!
i think i didnt gain (at least not much) but i wanna try to lose 1kg til friday! anyone with me??

b/w thinspo for today. cant comment these. they're just so beautiful.



so. i knew i'd eat shit.
thats how it went:
i had liters of tea and then half a slice of bread with some butter. i think at about 100cals. then i had a tea with that friend and walked home (45min). i got hungry and had half of a big apple, say 60cals. and then i couldnt resist that damn easter chocolate! i ate and ate and ate.. propably at about 200cals.

i'm going to stay at my boyfriends til monday. actually i wanted to go tomorrow, so its easier not to eat and i could weigh myself tomorrow morning. but i miss him.
on sunday we're going to frankfurt and stay in a hotel there for one night. sunday we'll visit the zoo and monday we'll go shopping. that was my birthday present, so cute. but i cant imagine shopping right now. i'm so biiig! but fashion is my biggest motivation to become thin...
i will be back on tuesday or so and post how everything went. but its so difficult not to eat much around my boyfriend, cause he eats like all the time and he is so thin! of course i want him to eat, cause i already look like an elephant next to him... and all i wanna be is small and tiny!
so i'll try to only have some salad or peppers as dinner
that i can stay at about 400cals for today. (fuck that damn chocolate! ruins everything!)

stay strong skinnies!

and special hi to my first follower! means a lot to me :)

taylor. one of my favourite celebrity-thinspo-girls. i wish i could look like her. i heard she weighs about 52kg and is a little smaller than me.... way to go!

good morning

i didnt eat anything yet and i hope i can skip lunch.
anyways i dont think that i can totally fast today, but maybe i can stay with fruits and veggies, i mean thats something too, right?
i'll have coffee with a friend from here later but i dont think cakes or ice cream will seduce me today.. i feel strong thanks to your blogs and the amazing thinspo.
i'll update this post later, propably going to eat shit anyways.

imagine us looking like a porcelain dancer. so weak and fragile and elegant.
stay strong.


Another fattie in blogosphere.

so, there's another blog about losing weight.
i've been following a lot of your blogs lately, and you all have been my biggest source of thinspiration. now, i feel like having my own blog could help me be stronger and not binge so often.
i wanna be honest with you skinnies, due to several events i've become a total fatass over the last year. i feel ashamed to tell you my weight, but honesty, as i said.
i am 172cm tall and i weigh 64.5kg what is at about 142lb. i know. disgusting.
so my first goal will be 60kg and my ultimate goal (for now) is to weigh at about 56kg (approx. 122lb) i know, most of you still think that that is superfat. but i wanna put my goal somewhere i can reach it. for now.

so here's what i ate today:

*half a waffle with some honey
*a cup of bouillon with like 5 noodles in it.
*a small pack of smarties and 2 small chocolate eggs. ( i hate easter!!!!)

i'm currently staying at my moms house so counting calories and eating less aint that easy. too many tempting food and sweets. but university starts again in 10 days, so then i'll be back in my flat and it'll be easier for me to count calories and control my eating. at least i hope so.

i'll go walk my dog for 30mins now, and than have loads of red pepper as dinner.

see you tomorrow skinnies.

first thinspo. lets roll over the floor laughing because we're looking like that. in summer. we can do this!